A fitness app that tracks stillness instead of steps.

Still Health — The Inactivity Optimizer measures the hours fitness apps have always treated as dead time. Press Start, sit down; the app records the session on real motion data — stillness time, interruptions, steps, distance, pace — awards trophies for sitting, and keeps personal records. Premium adds the league: friends, teams, standings, and WEEKLY HONORS for each team's stillest member every Monday. The joke is played completely straight. The data underneath is real.

INACTIVITY IS STILL HEALTH.

Facts

NAME Still Health — The Inactivity Optimizer
PLATFORM iPhone (iOS) · native SwiftUI · English (U.S.) · ages 13+
RELEASE Tuesday, September 29, 2026
PRICE Free to track · Basic — Solo Edition $4.99 once · Premium $4.99/month or $24.99/year with a 7-day free trial · Apple In-App Purchase only
TRACKING Apple Core Motion, processed on the device; sessions anchored to the wall clock and reconciled against the motion coprocessor after phone sleep; pace reads ∞ until ground is covered
THE LEAGUE Premium: friends · consent-based teams · standings · WEEKLY HONORS every Monday · team chat with photos · ten fixed badges of sanctioned trash talk · block and report, typically reviewed within 24 hours
THE REST move, posture, and hydration reminders · 32 guided exercises · focus and relax audio · DAILY MOTIVATION
PRIVACY no location collected · in-app account deletion · policy · terms · community rules
DEVELOPER Still Health LLC, Los Angeles, California · founder-owned
NOT a medical app. Makes no medical claims.

Story angles

The Inactivity Optimizer

A fitness app that thanks you for not moving — and means it, on real sensor data. Trophies for sitting. A scoreboard for the other twenty-three hours.

Rest is training

Recovery days, deloads, off-seasons, and the long sit — the half of training mainstream fitness apps ignore now has personal records. No medical claims; none needed.

Your office is already a team

Slack yells. The step counter yells. Still Health hands out WEEKLY HONORS for the four-hour sit you were going to do anyway, with a fixed catalog of sanctioned trash talk so rivalry stays funny.

A non-engineer shipped a real app with AI — the honest version

Four months, a native SwiftUI app, on-device motion tracking, a consent-based social backend, App Review. Designed by a creative director who cannot write a line of Swift and built in partnership with AI — with an audit suite that hunts fake numbers on every build and a rule that every failure gets confessed. Every transcript kept.

Brutalism as the joke

The app is built to look like a serious instrument, because that is the joke. No rounded corners. Anton headlines, monospace labels, Regulation Lime on near-black. A committee voice that never winks. Every number measured or ∞.

Screenshots

SIX · 1284×2778 · PNG · CLICK TO OPEN FULL SIZE

Icon

THE RING · 1024×1024 · PNG

Founder

Brad Hamilton is the founder of Still Health LLC, a Los Angeles company, and the creative director behind Still Health — The Inactivity Optimizer. Hamilton has no engineering background; he designed every screen and shipped the app — native SwiftUI, on-device motion tracking, a full social backend, Apple In-App Purchases — in partnership with AI over four months, and talks about that process, including its failures, openly. Before Still Health he worked as a music editor and producer. He also runs Poké Energy, a Pokémon TCG channel on YouTube.

Downloads

Press release (plain text)
Fact sheet (plain text)
Founder bio — short, medium, long (plain text)
Everything — release, fact sheet, bio, icon, six screenshots (ZIP)

Contact

Brad Hamilton, founder · support@stillhealthapp.com · replies typically the same day during launch week. Promo codes and a 15-minute call are available to working press on request.
Still Health LLC · P.O. Box 7405, Santa Monica, CA 90406