STILLHEALTH.

AVAILABLE NOW ON THE APP STORE

A fitness app that tracks stillness instead of steps.

Still Health — The Inactivity Optimizer measures the hours fitness apps have always treated as dead time. Press Start, sit down; the app records the session on real motion data — stillness time, interruptions, steps, distance, pace — awards trophies for sitting, and keeps personal records. Premium adds the league: friends, teams, standings, and WEEKLY HONORS for each team's stillest member every Monday. The joke is played completely straight. The data underneath is real.

INACTIVITY IS STILL HEALTH.

Facts

Story angles

The Inactivity Optimizer

A fitness app that thanks you for not moving — and means it, on real sensor data. Trophies for sitting. A scoreboard for the other twenty-three hours.

Rest is training

Recovery days, deloads, off-seasons, and the long sit — the half of training mainstream fitness apps ignore now has personal records. No medical claims; none needed.

Your office is already a team

Slack yells. The step counter yells. Still Health hands out WEEKLY HONORS for the four-hour sit you were going to do anyway, with a fixed catalog of sanctioned trash talk so rivalry stays funny.

A non-engineer shipped a real app with AI — the honest version

Four months, a native SwiftUI app, on-device motion tracking, a consent-based social backend, App Review. Designed by a creative director who cannot write a line of Swift and built in partnership with AI — with an audit suite that hunts fake numbers on every build and a rule that every failure gets confessed. Every transcript kept.

Brutalism as the joke

The app is built to look like a serious instrument, because that is the joke. No rounded corners. Anton headlines, monospace labels, Regulation Lime on near-black. A committee voice that never winks. Every number measured or ∞.

Screenshots

SIX · 1284×2778 · PNG · CLICK TO OPEN FULL SIZE

The Home screen: today's stillness at 0h 0m, the Daily Motivation line, and the Start Sedentary Session button. The Group Standings screen, Most Still this week: @thefounder first at 22h 55m, @thefounder2 second at 0h 1m. The Teams screen: a field to create a group, two groups (Naps and Couch Locked), and the Naps standings. The Trophy Room: streaks, a best day of 10h 58m, 5 of 15 trophies, and the Afternoon of Excellence trophy enlarged. The badge sheet: five Send Congrats badges and five Send Trash Talk badges, each with its one-line message. The Unlock Everything screen: the Annual or Monthly toggle, Monthly selected at $4.99, and the Free, Basic and Premium table.

Icon

THE RING · 1024×1024 · PNG

SH monogram inside a thin lime ring on near-black

Founder

Brad Hamilton, founder of Still Health LLC, in glasses, a black jacket and a white T-shirt, leaning on a desk in an office

BRAD HAMILTON · COURTESY STILL HEALTH LLC · OFFICE · STUDIO HEADSHOT · 896×1152 JPG

Brad Hamilton is the founder of Still Health LLC, a Los Angeles company, and the creative director behind Still Health — The Inactivity Optimizer. Hamilton has no engineering background; he designed every screen and shipped the app — native SwiftUI, on-device motion tracking, a full social backend, Apple In-App Purchases — in partnership with AI over four months, and talks about that process, including its failures, openly. Before Still Health he worked as a music editor and producer. He also runs Poké Energy, a Pokémon TCG channel on YouTube.

FOLLOW · POKÉ ENERGY ON YOUTUBE · @STILLHEALTHAPP ON X · STILL HEALTH ON LINKEDIN · BRAD HAMILTON ON LINKEDIN

Downloads

Contact

Brad Hamilton, founder · support@stillhealthapp.com · replies typically the same day during launch week. Promo codes and a 15-minute call are available to working press on request. Account and app questions are answered on the support page.
Still Health LLC · P.O. Box 7405, Santa Monica, CA 90406